OK: Where to begin? Yesterday was the beginning of my "butterfly year"...as much as I hate to admit it. Kimmie is right. This has to be my butterfly year. This is the year that I get my life in order. I have a job interview in the morning which I am super nervous about and that I went and spent a good bit too much money on an interview outfit for but Kimmie said that it was a necessary evil. Sometimes you have to spend money to make money right? If I get this job I won't have to worry about anything again as soon as I am working for this company.

And since this is SUPPOSED to be a writing blog I might as well tell everyone what I have started writing. My life story. I don't know if anyone will believe it but I have taken control. I refuse to let the actions of the past control my life anymore, refuse to let anything that may have happened make me scared any longer. I am no longer a child to cower and hide. I am coming out of my chrysalis. I am a butterfly...much to my chagrin.

Much needed update

I have been moving. Been so busy with this moving and figuring out the bus and all sorts that I have not been able to get my internet sorted yet.

But I have been writing. My doctor is falling for my main character but I might have her kill him. Not sure yet. Does he deserve to die? Does she deserve to kill him? Should someone else die in his place? Can that be offered? As long as the kids allow, I can play god. It's a wonderful feeling. Creating and destroying with just your two hands, ten fingers and your brain and your heart. Crafting love scenes, using words to hurt and main and destroy right after you have used words to comfort and heal.

I have been asked by a dear friend NOT to do NaNoWriMo until we can do it TOGETHER. November is a bad month for BOTH of us and neither of us are ready to take on this task yet. Her work is sooooo busy that month and I will HOPEFULLY be getting to grips with a new job and setting up my apartment the way that I want. Not sure if will even have net access at the time. I hope so. But I have to decide if I will do NaNo or not. It is looking like a not this year.

Words come when we need them most.

Has anyone else but me ever noticed that words come to us to be read or heard when we need them most? When we need to be reminded that we are not alone in this journey. When we need to be held words come that do the same things that arms do. Words written by others touch our minds and our hearts in ways that most people can only imagine. We as writers have been given a true gift. We can also use our words to do the same thing for another. Sharing your battles with one another, sharing your hardships and sharing your joys. Sharing your tears and your strength with another that understands can be so cleansing. So amazingly wonderful yet so....so difficult as well. Sometimes to help to heal another we have to open up our little "boxes"...open them up and throw away the key so that they can never get locked again. It hurts..hurts so badly that most of the time we can not stand it. I see it as a give and take...but really we take more than we give because when we help to heal another, whether it be through our words or deeds, we start to heal more ourselves. At best it can be an even swap. At worse...well...we can be left in a puddle lying on the floor.

Remember that...no matter who you are or what you have been through...we all have that one person who will lift us up, dry our tears and help to put us back together again. If you understand this post them you speak the language, the secret language that so many of us share and that shouldn't even exist. Or you know someone that does and through them have learned the secret language. One day it won't have to be secret anymore. One day everyone, all across the world, will stand up and demand to be heard. Wait til you see the literature that will come streaming when that day comes. I, for one, can NOT wait! That day is long past due.

I know this hasn't really been a writing blog but it has. It has because writing is a from of using words...one of the most powerful and the most deadly. But it can also be the one that pulls you up when you are feeling do down that you can't see how to face another day. Especially when you find those that understand.